Friday, 16 November 2012

Orgasm Day

I didn't think this day would ever come. Six months ago, six months seemed like an erotic challenge four months ago the reality set in that the more I suffered the more Miss Beth got off on it. In the last couple of months I reached a new personal level of submission that Miss Beth liked so much that I started to doubt that my denial would be limited to six months.

I woke up in the morning (Monday 12th Nov) and wondered if today was the day. Miss Beth acted as if the day was no different to any other. One of my rules is that I am not allowed to ask for orgasm or any kind of stimulation so I didn't dare say anything, instead I just hoped that she had remembered the days significance. I even wondered if it was a trap to get me to seal my own fate by reminding her. My head was in a quandary but Miss Beth would argue that my head had been like that for the last 5 and a half months lol.

I remained unsure for much of the day but later Miss Beth whispered in my ear that she was looking forward to a good fuck later on to celebrate my 6 months. Even this had a twist in the tale when she called me to the bedroom and threw me some lube and a butt plug and told me to 'prepare' myself for Her to fuck me! That she did, not in a gentle way as was the time before but hard and deep and afterwards I felt well and truly fucked!

Afterwards Miss Beth hugged me and said "I think it's time for your orgasm". She looked genuinely unsure and explained that although she missed me being her husband, she knew that she would really miss me being such a deeply submissive and obedient slave after allowing me to cum. This put me in a quandary because my life in the last 6 months had become focused entirely on pleasing her and even thought I craved an orgasm the thought of not pleasing Miss Beth felt very wrong. Once again Miss Beth assured me that I had earned my release.

What followed was me making love to my wife, it wasn't a marathon, I didn't last long but it was wonderful to not have to hold back as had been the case so many times until even that became impossible. My orgasm was amazing and the best way to describe it was that it felt very much like the first orgasm I ever had many years ago.

Now a few days later I have some time off for good behaviour. Beth pretty much hates me, a big part of me hates myself because pleasing Miss has been such a huge part of my life for such a long time and I know that I'm not pleasing her like I was.

Friday, 5 October 2012

Deeper and deeper

It's been a strange couple of weeks in my world.  Miss Beth has noticed me falling deeper and deeper into submission and so has been teasing me pretty relentlessly.  Such teasing only adds to my frustration and i can feel myself growing more and more hopelessly pathetic with each passing day.

A few weeks ago Miss Beth had a night out with some friends and saw a stripper.  Not being shy like her friends,  when the stripper came round with his bottle of baby oil, as her friends rubbed oil into his pecs and arms, Miss Beth oiled up his huge cock and took great pleasure in telling me every detail on her return home.  I'm not sure what reaction she expected from me,  but i think we were both surprised at how aroused i got.  Since then my teasing has taken a definite turn in direction and we have talked (although only talked) about cuckoldry.

What i don't understand is how something i would have previously been so against,  with my deeper submission, becomes almost acceptable.. .. .. Almost!    In my head it'ts not something that i want to happen. But its almost as if its not up to me to stop Miss Beth having whatever fun she chooses, with whoever she chooses.  Its hard to explain.

 Miss Beth seems to love each new plateau i reach and almost ups my teasing with extra vim and vigor.

Monday, 17 September 2012

Nail fetish??

I have always had a healthy repertoire of kinks and fetishes,  And Miss Beth has indulged me with all of them.  That doesn't mean i get my own way with what turns me on,  but Miss Beth loves to use my fetishes to tease and taunt me and drive me to despair (which isn't hard these days) and beyond.

At the age of 42 you tend to think that you know what does it for you, but I seem to have found a new fetish to add to the list.  Nails, or more precisely, long, manicured, painted nails.

I have always thought that long painted nails looked nice but never gave it much more thought than that.  It could be that i married a beauty therapist,  whose nails are rarely anything other than long and manicured perfectly.  It could be that i have spent many hours knelt at Miss Beths feet, devotedly painting her toenails (and usually removing polish and repeating until i get it right).   The overwhelming desire i have for her to touch my cock . . .   I am forbidden from asking Miss Beth to touch me,  but i pray silently and somebody up there looks down on me fondly  :o)  The exasperating sound of her tapping her nails on my chastity device drives me mad and she knows it.  Even when i'm in trouble and get a sharp slap across the face,  It doesnt hurt less due to her having long nails (In fact,  theres probably more risk of getting a sharp scratch) but it does something to me that makes me smile (red rag to a bull for Miss Beth to slap me several more times and much harder to wipe the smile off my face)

One of my previous hard limits was anything to do with urethral play (a painful experience sleepwalking with a catheter attached to the hopital bed . . . yikes)  Yet having a finger and manicured nail inserted has gone from being something that terrified me to a huge turn on.

This evening Miss Beth had her nail extensions done again.  The house briefly filled with the smell of acrylic, but what would have once been a smell i disliked has evolved into something i associate with her long sharp gorgeous nails,  A beautiful french manicured white tipped vision.

Sunday, 16 September 2012

My Mantra

For a long time,  Miss Beth has used mantras and their recitals as an early task with her various online slaves.   Recited morning and night it becomes an affirmation or reinforcement of the control she has over every aspect of their lives.   This past week, I have been going through an intense slave refresher course,  something that reminds me of my place from time to time and stops me from ever getting too comfortable with whats expected of me.   Miss Beth has decided that there's absolutely no reason why i should escape writing and reciting a daily mantra.  So here it is.

 Miss Beth

As the sun rises, I spend this time considering how i may serve you this day. How i may worship you, how i may show my devotion.

How i may make you smile and feel at ease.

Let me devote today (and every other day) to serving your every need.  Let those needs replace my own as i strive to eradicate all selfishness and serve you completely selflessly.

And as the sun sets, for my sun always has and always will  rise and set with you. Let me find some small way to improve,  so that tomorrow, i can serve you a little bit better.

Your boy

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

6 months revisited

Day 114 in the Big Brother house.   Paul is in the garden losing his marbles,   So he hasn't lost all of them yet?   but my version of sanity isnt what it was back in May.

Oh my god,   May is such a long time ago.   Even though i was up for the challenge of 6 months chastity at the beginning, I was convinced i would get to cum on my birthday. (End of May)  I got an amazing birthday blow-job but Miss Beth reads me like a book and stopped about a nano second before the point of no return,  and i was locked up again before opening my first card.

My first day at work,  Our wedding anniversary, Our holidays in the summer were dead certs for an early release, but each has been and gone and still i remain denied.

I read forum posts and blogs all the time where people are locked for varying lengths of time,  but mostly they dont know how long for.   A few days, a few weeks, a few months,

I now know beyond almost any doubt that i wont cum for another 68 days.  Compared to the 114 days already gone that sounds easy, but as i said,  i never really thought that i would be made to do 6 months,  but now i know that im going to do the last two months.  My sanity rests on being allowed to cum after 6 months!  I know i wont do a day less but have no idea whether time will be added.

As for Miss Beth,   The amount of teasing i receive just seems to increase. As does her level of enjoyment as i show the signs of extreme frustration.  I never used to pre-cum,  just didnt seem to produce it.  Now hardly a day goes by without hearing her squeal with delight as she coaxes more and more pre-cum from me whether i am unlocked or not.

Added to this is her tales of her realtime sessions or the recent slave labour camp.  The lucky subs that are permitted to masturbate at the end of a session at her feet.  Or the online chastity slaves that reach the end of term and are allowed an orgasm.  The look in Miss Beths eye and the smile on her face as she recounts other guys orgasms to me as she strokes my twitching cock or bulging cage.  Anyone who reads this and knows Miss Beth probably knows the look i mean, or if you dont, god help you when you do.

Monday, 30 July 2012

The Kage

Sunday afternoon Miss Beth and I went to 'the kage' with our good friend Miss TillySue. The Kage is a monthly fetish event held at Partners club in Bury, Manchester.  We have been to several local munches and fetish events and so far 'the Kage' is our clear favorite.

Last time we went, Miss Tillys boy was given a good flogging on a St Andrews cross.  You can read all about it here .  This time it was my turn and before i knew it,  I found myself bound to the same cross listening to Miss Beth and Miss TillySue laughing as they warmed me up, so to speak.

One of my failings as a whipping boy is in trying to be too brave.  I try to take the pain without making a sound which infuriates Miss Beth sometimes to the point that she loses interest.  What i now know is that Miss Beth wants me to cry and scream and beg.  Not to fake it but not to hide it.  A few days before i had said to Miss Beth that if she really wants me to beg and will stop when i cant take no more,  That she should use her cane on me harder than she would usually do so,  to enforce the reactions she sought.   She reminded me of those very words whilst i was bound to the cross.  needless to say i screamed,  i got a little tearful and i begged both to stop.  Hopefully not too early to spoil their fun.   I'm not a pain slut and i dont pretend to be very brave.  But Im looking forward to the next flogging more than i was looking forward to this one.  And now that i scream like a bitch,  I think Miss Beth will be looking forward to it more too.

Having survived a double flogging session,  Miss Beth said she was very proud of me  (Making her proud or happy is my greatest pleasure nowdays)  By way of a reward, she unlocked my device and lead me in search of a private room for some teasing.  The private rooms at Kage were all filled so we ended up in the crowded pool/jacuzzi room.  In the deliciously warm pool,  couples were engaged in all manner of sexual activity.  There was sucking and fucking and licking going on all around.  Miss Beth stroked my cock and told me half mockingly and half annoyed with me that if i wasn't sentenced to 6 months of orgasm denial (103 days to go) then we would be doing likewise, and that we shall be returning when i am allowed to cum.

Its probably true that not only do i try to be brave regarding physical pain,  but i also suffer in silence with my frustration and dont show how i am feeling as much as i could.   My cock is now locked again and i feel so frustrated i am not far from tears. I dont know how i am going to last another 100 days.  The worst part is knowing that the more i suffer,  the closer i edge to insanity,  the more Miss Beth loves it and the stronger her resolve gets.   When I am being whipped and flogged,  Miss Beth knows when i have had enough and there is always safe word.  With chastity, tease and denial,  I have no such luxury and her enjoyment only really starts after i have had enough.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

New Job

Started my new job this week.

Miss Beth kissed me goodbye in such a sexy way that i felt like a million dollars. She also stroked my crotch and giggled as her fingers felt my caged cock.

A while ago Miss Beth used to speak to a guy on fetlife who was interested in chastity.  He used to wear a cb6000 at weekends and some evenings but would never wear it to work for fear of it being discovered. I remember thinking it was a silly restriction that he put on himself and that nobody would look that closely.

Starting a new job, in a heavy steel device, with a uniform of thin trousers was interesting.  I tried as hard as i could to not think about it, and by and large didnt.  But throughout the day,  at various times i was very conscious of being in chastity.  Chatting to a colleague in the toilet whilst trying to make an adjustment,  imagining being searched at work (Yes, it happens where i work)  and getting an uncomfortable chaste semi at the thought of being found out.   And If the kiss goodbye made me feel amazing, it paled into insignificance   to the kiss i got when Miss Beth picked me up at the end of the day. I felt amazing.

Miss Beth looked at my counter the other day . . . . .  130 days to go!   Thats only 4 months she said. Like it wasnt very long at all.